My mother passed on November 25th at 12:15 am. As soon as I saw my brother’s name on the phone I knew. I had gone that day to the top of a mountain, climbed on a rock prayed and said goodbye to her. The Arc Angel Michael appeared. He took her home…
I thank every single person who offered their condolences and sentiments. If you’ve read my book, you know ours was a tempestuous relationship and often strained. In the end, we came to forgiveness and cast our sins into the sea of forgetfulness. She passed onto God with peace and freedom and I get to live the rest of my life remembering lying in her hospital bed crying away all my grief while her beautiful strong arms held me. I’m grateful for these final moments with her upon this earth. God’s perfect timing in all things.
In the time between coasts and the events of putting my mother’s affairs in order, I watched a number of things unfold in the news thanks to digital information saturation.
While I am aware I have a second part of the gun issue in the wake of the Texas church shooting, a recent headline had me given thought in another direction.
Death brings introspection and reassessment. The passing of one of our loved ones reminds us of our own mortality. While the death of a parent is the natural course of things, I am now an official “orphan” as my mother and father are now gone. I’ve been praying. I’ve talked with God. I’ve talked with myself and I have taken solace with my children.
So how do I get back into the swing of things? I guess by addressing a common tweet that appeared on my timeline numerous times while I dealt with my family issue. The tweets were always something like this: “I don’t agree with your politics or often what you have to say, but my condolences.”
I am thankful for those sentiments because it’s a reminder that civil discourse still exists. In the bombast of modern news and social media, and pundits screaming back and forth to one another, it was a quiet reminder that we are still people and while we won’t always agree, we can find the common ground as human beings stuck on this planet.
I’m still Stacey Dash. I’m still a conservative but I’m transforming. This transformation started before my mother fell ill and God is still working on me. As we know. It’s a journey with The Lord. I am so thankful for every trial and sorrow. I’ll be writing about that and discussing very soon.
Here is what I will say now. I’ve said some things in the past that I’m not so proud of and others that I remain steadfast in my conservative convictions. However over the last two years, I’ve worked to listen more, and that means listening to my own words then and now. It means reassessing my stance on issues and broadening my view.
North Korea, the Russia investigation, Tax Cuts, Flynn…all took a back seat to the almost daily revelations of another male brought forth to public shaming for sexual misconduct as Roy Moore took the spotlight. As a conservative and a woman and most of all a human being, I’m appalled at the party’s support of Moore and while numerous allegations of proof have come forward. The initial onslaught was rife with partisan agendas and alleged hatchet jobs.
All of this confuses the public, and does not allow a clear picture to take a firm stand. You see there is that “reasonable doubt” thing and Moore quickly turned his crisis into a “he said, she said” situation that included the hallmarks of confusion: allegedly fabricated proof like a supposedly forged yearbook signature and claims he was banned from a mall for trying to pick up teenage girls. Just who do we believe, because it’s this kind of stuff that makes it hard to believe the accusers and yet at the same time, do we trust the media?
It’s simple. The accusers should have gone right to a place of authority, not the press. Again, I know it’s not black and white, but these issues festered for decades and Moore was not Harvey Weinstein. With all things being relative, Moore did not wield the incredible financial power that Weinstein held.
A recently accused celebrity male did some things to me that confirmed his accuser’s allegations. Reading only a few lines of her story, I knew she was telling the truth because some of what he did to her he did to me. She gave details that matched to the letter with my experiences with this guy. However, I almost killed him and it never happened again.
I am not coming forward against this man because I was with him voluntarily. Things got of control and I defended myself when it got bad. I am not taking away from the woman’s account or handling of her situation. I am stating I believe her.
I also believe many of the other women who have come forward. I am not a victim blamer and I want that clear up front as I go forward. I am not blaming victims.
But look at how I have to preface my essay with disclaimers. We are on dangerous ground.
We aren’t listening anymore. A few celebrities have come forward with rebuttals to these Red Scare accusations, however, I will go past the Red Scare and say this is more akin to The Inquisition.
I suspect we are going to see this get worse. The accusations will start to come from other areas outside the entertainment industry. Sexual harassment is everywhere. We are starting to hear the tales rolling out of Washington. Yes, they’ve always been there just as they’ve always been in Hollywood.
As this herpes-type flare up spreads, look for the medical industry, Wall Street and corporate America will come under the shadow of sexual harassment. Matt Lauer’s recent departure will bring the spotlight onto the networks as the purge continues. NBC is allegedly expunging all record of Lauer’s time with the network as some pretty nasty things come to light.
There is a wide net being cast here, folks and aside from the target fish, there are a number of other things caught up that shouldn’t be.
This is a screen capture from The Drudge Report. Notice a growing pattern: men are evil. This is a blanket statement and it is wrong.
All men are predators is no more accurate than all Muslims are terrorists, all blacks are thugs and lazy, all Jewish people are cheap and control the world, all gays are pedophiles, all feminists are lesbian, all conservatives are racists and the like. You can’t rail against one label while affixing another. While The Left calls warnings to Nazism, labeling all men as predators is no different than Germany’s Nazi-era call that all Jews are a danger against the German people.
We are on a slippery slope where accusations hit the press and destroy lives and careers before the proper due process can take place. Fingers point, denials are made and sometimes we don’t hear the right words over our outrage. We are a society that has been manipulated by a Netflix show to rally for an alleged murderer’s release yet most have not examined the hard evidence. Emotions and armchair quarterbacking give people a sense of empowerment through the Internet.
We run the risk of a new reign of terror…one of accusation, shame, and humiliation with permanent destruction. I’ve written my piece on Harvey Weinstein (you can read my previous piece here).
I’ve clearly stated where I stand.
Weinstein was the first eruption. It spread from there. I’ve watched as Rose McGowan has become a face of this female movement and the head of her Rose Army. I understand this army is fueled by abject pain and anger. She now wields incredible power and can destroy lives with a press conference.
I do ask though, who appointed her as the mouthpiece for this movement? Who is monitoring her and others to ensure false accusations are not leveled against those who are innocent or part of a disgruntled individual? Who is keeping the power in check?
As of this writing, there are over a dozen men I could destroy. Their affronts are of varying degrees, and it is here where I understand what Pamela Anderson meant in her recent media input. She said some of Harvey Weinstein’s victims knew a visit to his hotel room or private meeting was asking for trouble. They needed to think things through better. Don’t be sorry, be smart is what she was saying.
Anderson caught the expected flack, instantly branded as attacking the victims. Kirstie Alley has also stated publicly to heed warnings of blanket accusations. They are not saying the people coming forward are to be demeaned, but they are saying that these are serious charges. The industry is reacting in a knee-jerk type of way with one accusation destroying a career. They are doing this because they knew for a long time these antics were going down, and they want to avoid lawsuits or minimize civil damages. It’s not about creating a positive environment. It’s about damage control.
The #MeToo movement has no criteria. What are harassment and assault? Is it what Garrison Keillor is accused of–putting his hand on an exposed back of a woman? He openly admits to doing it but making a mistake in hand placement and nothing more. The single accusation stripped him of contracts with the radio network his show helped to build and put on the map.
He said he waited almost fifty years to be fired as a journalist, to join the ranks of great journalists in history. He said he wished it wasn’t for something so silly.
No…all women accusers should not be believed at face value. History is replete with those who have lied to grind an axe. Do we need to invoke Tawana Brawley and the numerous female liars that sent men to jail on false accusations of rape and assault? Did we forget the Rolling Stone frat house debacle and it’s liar of a female writer who cost the magazine an incredible amount of money in civil damages for her total fabrications and defamation?
There needs to be a process and the first step is creating a system where those assaulted have a safe place to go…where they can lodge their complaints and walk through the doors ready to be believed. They present their case, offer whatever evidence they have away from the media. The case is followed by and presented to proper legal authorities and untouchable from wealthy powerful predators like Harvey Weinstein, who can try to crush the allegations or buy the victim off.
This is not a panacea and is flawed in my layout but it’s a logical step that I think few could take issue with. I am not saying anything against victims or the veracity of their claims. On the contrary, I am offering a solution, an avenue of recourse.
Hollywood studios should have a department on their lots for this kind of thing and it operates INDEPENDENTLY of studio influence. Call it an “assault embassy” of sorts, it’s on their soil but does not adhere to the power of executives or boards.
Does this turn into a female-led reign of terror, condemning all males and making them new bogeymen? We are already conditioned to be afraid of everything. Our children are introduced to stranger danger before they can walk. From there it’s terrors online, in the dark, on the streets and then grows into a world of terrorism, renewed nuclear threats and biological pathogens that threaten nightmare pandemics against the backdrop of a global warming apocalypse.
Fear. Fear. Fear. It sells. It moves. It gets clicks.
There is no solution save for the fact that victims need to report these crimes to proper authorities and not to the press first, as I outlined above. I know, some of them tried and were turned away or not believed. I get that. However, the floodgates have now opened and we have swung to the other end of the spectrum.
The recent story about Danny Masterson’s accusations ignored by a head Netflix executive got press for its irony. When asked what he thought of several rape allegations against Masterson, the exec said the company didn’t believe the four women who spoke up. The executive was then shocked into silence when the woman who asked him revealed she was one of the accusers.
Public outrage can quickly turn to hysteria. MSNBC cut ties with host Sam Seder after a sarcastic tweet he fired off against Roman Polanski over eight years ago came back to haunt him. While the joke was in bad taste, (rape isn’t funny, and joking about your daughter being raped is even less so) the intent was to be sarcastic and against Polanski and his alleged sex crimes. Just because someone didn’t like the joke doesn’t give license to deliberately misinterpret and exploit words to further an agenda.
This is where it can all spin out of control. Anger and blind rage will devour the cause that spawned it. Casting the net wide is dangerous because to be clear, there are bad people in all walks of life but they do not represent the majority.
Remember that. You can’t cherry pick your outrage. If it’s wrong to condemn a group as a whole for the actions of a few, the same applies here to an entire sex.
Cool heads and critical, logical thinking are what’s needed now more than ever.